“The door-opening pretends to be a helpful service, but the
helpfulness is false. This can be seen by noting that it will be done whether
or not it makes any practical sense. Infirm men and men burdened with packages
will open doors for able-bodied women who are free of physical burdens. Men
will impose themselves awkwardly and jostle everyone in order to get to the
door first. The act is not determined by convenience or grace. Furthermore, these
very numerous acts of unneeded or even noisome "help" occur in
counter-point to a pattern of men not being helpful in many practical ways in
which women might welcome help. What women experience is a world in
which gallant princes charming commonly make a fuss about being helpful and
providing small services when help and services are of little or no use, but in
which there are rarely ingenious and adroit princes at hand when substantial
assistance is really wanted either in mundane affairs or in situations of
threat, assault or terror. There is no help with the (his) laundry; no help
typing a report at 4:00 a.m.; no help in mediating disputes among relatives or
children. There is nothing but advice that women should stay indoors after
dark, be chaperoned by a man, or when it comes down to it, ‘lie back and enjoy
it.’”
- -
Marilyn Frye, “Oppression”
I know this was published in 1983, but I found this
extremely pretentious. And maybe this was a legitimate argument back then, but
I highly doubt this argument has any standing in the present. Today, opening
the door is an act of politeness, not
power. I see plenty of people opening
the door for anyone, regardless of their sex. And when a guy opens the door for me, I don’t think, “Oh, what a
big, strong man!” I think the same thing I would think if he were a she,
“That’s nice of him/her.”
That’s all I have to say about that.
XOXO
Gabby
XOXO
Gabby
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